Category Archives: Musings off the Mat

Giving & Receiving

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IMG_7743It’s Christmas Day here in Aswan. And Christmas, we like to say, is a time of giving. which consequently means receiving too.
Often, I’ve experienced this exchange as something between two parties. One gives, the other receives. Or visa versa.

And then there are those moments when the lines blur and the act of giving is experienced as an act of receiving as well; to give is to receive.

Photo: Christmas Eve and the staff here at Fekra Cultural Center enthusiastically consent to a yoga class when I offer. Today, they were eager to go again. Tomorrow, will teach them the Sun Salutation sequence so that they can practice without me. Very excited, it’s the cherry on top of an amazing second retreat already.

Natural Reflection

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After two months in monster city like Cairo, Aswan is a breath of fresh air–literally as well as figuratively.

This morning, waking up to my hut dappled in sunlight then practicing on the terrace of the main building in Fekra Cultural Center, to my left was the rising sun and to my right was the blue Nile River (I couldn’t decide which I wanted to salute towards more, so it was a draw!), I remembered how important it is too be in the elements, to be in nature.

I felt how my practice in this setting is very different. I took my time. My breaths were long. I wasn’t in any hurry. I also felt my body differently. I noticed the build up of urban/work tension in a way I hadn’t previously.

Nature allows us to tune into the nature within, it reflects back at us how close or how far we are from that nature. It is a keen mirror, allowing us to reflect deeply on ourselves.

Feeling blessed to be able to share this very special place with 17 retreat participants. We start today’s program at 4pm with an opening circle. The second Ashtanga in Aswan Retreat will be on 24-27 December. There are still places. Message me kaz.castillo@gmail.com to join. 

Photo: Island reflection on the Nile. This is the view of a place often referred to as the back of a dragon across Fekra’s grounds.

Cairo, Two Sides

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Sun over Dashour's Bent Pyramid.

Sun over Dashour’s Bent Pyramid.

Nearly full moon above Cairo's congested streets.

Nearly full moon above Cairo’s congested streets.

I am so glad that I didn’t listen to the news, or the concerns of my worried mother (sorry, mom!), or the incredulity in which people responded when I said I was going to teach in Cairo, which had just had another tumultuous overthrow in government. Had I done so, had I taken the safe and secure choices laid before me, I would not have had this wildly brilliant experience of sharing here these past two months.

There are two sides to every coin.

My flight into Egypt arrived in the early hours during curfew and I could not leave the airport for ages. A strange welcome, yes, but this same curfew allowed me to enjoy a much edited version of Cairo social life my first weeks here, one that was unusually compatible with my morning yoga hours.

I was harassed by a taxi driver–the fourth or fifth one I’d ever ridden with on my own. Yet, the lovely man Muhammad who drives me around now is the taxi driver who witnessed me hopping out of the slow-moving vehicle after I had fended off a very poor attack on his part. And like everyone else I have met here, Muhammad has looked after me with such warmth and sincerity. That we can barely have a conversation, his English is sparse and my Arabic is non-existent, makes no difference. (I want to add that I haven’t experienced any other harassment since that incident either).

These last days, being a tourist, visiting the Pyramids and the places of worship that date back thousands and hundreds of years, have shown me a calm Cairo so different from the Cairo’s chaotic streets that I’ve become so familiar with since my arrival here. Same soulful, high frequency sort of energy, just two very different sides of it.

Living in Cairo is not easy. The politics of instability has created day to day chaos, on the roads and in the more subtle byways, the minds and bodies of its people. There is a lot of pollution, repression, trauma, frustration, a lot of dreams deferred. And with that, there’s a also a lot of spirit! I have to say that this is a part of what makes teaching here so very rich, what makes this work so incredibly worthwhile.

In its little-BIG way, yoga offers its practitioners an experience of centeredness and stability, of quiet and peace. And that’s a whole lot when the world is like constantly shifting sand in the desert.

There are two sides to every coin. What you see it depends on how you see it. What I see: so much good here, so much love, so much potential.

Meeting in the Mysore Space

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One class day to go here in Cairo. The countdown, I have to be honest, makes me sentimental. While my stay here has just been shy of two months and I recognize that in many aspects I have just been skimming the surface, there is such a great depth built into this work, into this practice of ashtanga yoga.

As we breathe and move in space, taking shapes with deliberate awareness and attention, we embody this process called yoga.

The mind and its trappings come into play, our issues and injuries–physical or otherwise–come to the surface. Our desires and attachments bubble up…and then the practice attempts to burst them.

The practice shines a light on the shadows: tension in the body often reflecting tension in the heart or mind, the dark of the ego lurking in the corners…

Teaching in a Mysore space is like getting to know someone very intimately without any context–and without any judgement. It’s like knowing nothing about a student’s life story yet observing personal symptoms of life and signposts of living.

The joy, particularly, is seeing how it gets physically worked out through this incredible whittling down process, sometimes with grace and ease, while other times, let’s face it, it’s a shit fight!

Sharing in this quiet personal process makes people who practice together incredibly close, sometimes without any of the usual friendly exchanges. We feel each other’s struggles and we celebrate each other’s victories on the mat, which is really a metaphor for our lives.

As for being the “teacher”, I feel incredibly blessed to take part in this process. Often, I do little other than being there. And there are times I need to admit to myself that there is nothing I can do other than to back up and give someone space.

Then there are the little moments that amount to so much: jump starting someone’s practice, moving someone in a different direction, aligning the body to feel secure and spacious, holding someone in a difficult posture…

Understanding and trust are built on this straightforward physical exchange and a very special relationship is formed between a teacher and a student.

I love meeting like this, in such a space that is both so real, so organic, so surprising; this is a space where yoga happens.

Photo: We ease into each other’s company with fluidity that comes with breathing in the same pace. The regular practitioners (Ashtanga Yoga Egypt, La Zone, Maadi) and I engage in the most common post-practice practice: having breakfast fit for champions at Lucille’s on Road 9.

Practice Light and Dark

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There are moments we feel full of light. We are at one with the shimmering wonder of what is. We feel well.

Then there are the other times: the dark moments when we feel disconnected from the more positive aspects of our lives. We feel disintegrated, we feel as if the world around us is—or worse yet, we ourselves are–falling apart.

It is so with practice. We have light and dark moments, moments of cohesion and of just plain messiness. Often, we aim for one and avoid the other.

But never completely– because the dark moments continue to come. That is the nature of the world we live in.

The practice is both, light and dark. These two shades work together. The light is a reference point. While the dark, as difficult as it is, is where the real work happens. Practice with presence and love and the falling apart becomes a peeling away, a shedding of superfluous layers, allowing ultimately for a deeper sense of lightness

Practice Everywhere

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We love sacred spaces. We seek out places that vibrates with energy, where it is easy to get into the zone. We travel to such spots. Sometimes, long distances: the shala in Mysore, India; to favorite teachers, who have put a lot of love in their teaching spaces; to exotic locations around the world.

The real challenge, however, is to practice anywhere. To be able to lay your mat down wherever you land, whatever space is available.

Then, there’s the “practice” that the practice prepares you for. The one that happens in gridlock in the middle of a commute, in the middle of a crazy work day, or amidst a rowdy bunch of party-goes or protesters or people in general.

Always, we find ourselves in the middle, sandwiched between opposing forces, the occasion challenging/inspiring us to breathe, to steady ourselves, to find our center. And practice happens. It comes naturally, a reflex, a response system. Real life, day-to-day yoga.

Photo: My friend’s Maadi rooftop converted into a makeshift yoga space.

Night Light

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IMG_6352On Facebook today, a student in Cairo observed the irony between the region’s complex history of wars, conflicts, killings, assassinations and bombings and the region’s common greeting: “May peace be upon you…”

It made me think how we need light the most in darkness–and how light shines more brightly in the dark.

Perhaps the greeting–born out of darkness–is trying to ignite in the hearts of each individual a sense of peace, or at the very least, the need for it.

Sadly, sometimes the-powers-that-be promote fear and confusion, which obscures the light of hope and justice, and the work of peace falls on the individual. And this isn’t only in the Middle East, but everywhere.

We must ask ourselves then how do I bring peace into my own life? What can I do to shine a light of peace in the dark? And trust that our light will inspire others to shine as brightly.

And more light means less darkness…

The yoga practice, I feel, is an important tool for seeking some personal peace. My time here in Cairo is helping me feel, however, how this personal peace has to expand from the individual to the communal, that our external actions must promote peace around us also. Still, yoga is good place to start. Practice and turn on that night light.


CLASSES: I continue to teach in Cairo for two more weeks, until December 15. Ashtanga Yoga Cairo in Zamalek: Sun/Mon/Wed 6:30-9pm. La Zone, Maadi Degla: Sun-Thurs 7-10am. Final ashtanga workshops in Shanti Yoga Cairo, Zamalek and Maadi December 6-7.  
Photo: Little light show is from a shop in the Souk at Khan el Khalili, Old Cairo.

Bit of River

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Today, I’ve been here one crazy Cairo month. It’s gone by fast–not surprising as this is a very fast city. Like any big city, Cairo has a lot of edge, in its buildings, in its politics, in its character. And life on the edge can be hard.

Three times a week, however, as I make my monster commute between the areas of Maadi and Zamalek, something softens each time I see the Nile River.

The Nile cuts through all this crazy, maneuvering around obstacles adeptly. It knows its course and moves with ease into the sea.

It reminds me that navigating a place such as Cairo, or for that matter life at large, requires being a bit of river, being light and agile, soft and fluid. But also remembering there is weight in water, that it is a force of nature, that as it moves it generates a great deal of power.

Photo: The River Nile.

Mindful Mindlessness

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We are thinking creatures. And have been blessed to be so. We are able to think, to process, to be conscious living beings.

Having beautiful complex brains also means thinking. A lot. Sometimes the mind is like a riot of thoughts, noisy demonstrations for all sorts of causes. It can be distracting, to say the least.

I can’t help but hear my teacher’s voice in my head, “Too much is thinking is there…”

In our yoga practice, we often sometimes aim to “get out of the mind,” to quiet the thoughts in order to find peace and stillness within.

But what does that mean really “getting out of mind” when our main tool for doing so is the mind itself?

Our mind, the faculties of the mind, are important to finding equanimity. We cannot just simply get out of our head. But we can focus our thoughts, our efforts into one stream as we practice. And that mindful awareness makes us more present.

The result is a robust mental experience, where one’s focus moves in one flowing direction, and other extraneous thoughts either fall away or are absorbed into this one stream.

This is yoga. A balance of opposites. The fullness of thought, the practice of attention, creates spaciousness in the mind. And in such fullness, the mind is not so much empty, but definitely more quiet.

Photo: Darb 1718 in Old Cairo. I will be sharing inner dance and ashtanga workshops in the yoga space near here soon! Watch out for announcements.