āsana and the yoga of cairo

It’s been a spell since leaving Cairo, but this piece inspired by the old city and its people has long been stewing. People often ask me why I keep coming back to Cairo. There are many reasons but one of the big ones is this: it inspires a level of sadhana that is well beyond the body. It’s a place that reminds me to live my yoga practice.

There’s this chair in a room. It’s a small receiving room in an old apartment in Downtown Cairo. The square room is painted red, and despite its tiny floor size, it stretches up and up with high ceilings. The chair is the only real furniture in the room. There’s a desk lamp, that sits on the ground and the three walls of the room are filled with artworks of varying sizes that reaches up the wall.

The seat, a wooden antique reclining chair with white cushions, feels lonely to me, partially lit by the lamp. Framed against the bits of modern art crawling up the red, it feels stoic, but solitary.

Later, my friend, to whom this space belongs, tells me about his life in Cairo. The struggles of ordinary life filled with victory and loss; he speaks of caring for a parent dying of cancer; of the failed revolution; of life in Tahir Square; of the many crazy things he witnessed during that crazy time; he shares the oddness and disparity between the different social stratas which he straddles, because Cairo, the world he lives in, constantly vacillates between extremes.

In yoga, “āsana” is often referred to as the postures we take while we practice. It is the “seat” of yoga.

These days, we mistake āsana as taking shapes in space. There is a proliferation of this on the internet with photos and videos of beautifully performed handstands and human pretzels… The day I started writing this article, a funny spoof on the yoga video phenomenon went viral among my yoga circles. The following day, a number of the same people who shared it online were once again liking yogāsana snap shots on social media. There’s nothing wrong with that, we can, of course, appreciate all sides. But it had me thinking, once again, what it means to be sitting in yoga.

It is truly something awesome to see a human being defy the limits and gravity with his/her body. They definitely inspire. But I wonder, are they accurate representations of āsana?

I do not offer any photos for this post, though originally I wanted to share one of the chair itself. My friend asked that I refrain from doing even that, such things are, after all, private and the delicate practice of our lives is sacred.

My friend and his chair (neither pictured here) move me in a way that I do not feel when seeing some popular representations of yoga. My friend and his chair, his seat, remind me that the essence of yoga cannot fully be captured in a polished physical posture, however amazing, however artistically articulated.

My friend, he’s no expert at Cairo life, certainly not at yoga. He’s simply doing his best to just sit in all the crazy, all the joy and all the disappointment, striving to find peace with all of it. And that feels like yoga practice to me.

When we practice, we are practicing our ability to sit in yoga, to find equanimity in the body, mind, heart. The greater practice is life itself, the challenge of which is to find equanimity in the body, mind and heart amidst the chaos of an ever changing world.

I think one of the reasons I continue to be drawn to Cairo is that the city’s version of the ebb and flow of life is on some serious kind of overdrive: it is a vortex of living, of varying energies, sweet and terrible (political, economic, cultural, social, individual) all swirling rapidly together in this thick soup of a city, layered with modern and ancient civilizations, and with them their countless innovations, numerous mistakes and unfathomable mysteries.

To sit in it, to stand, to walk, to move, to work, to be there, to be well–let alone, thrive there–takes a special kind of practice.

That’s not to say that everyone in Cairo is sitting in yoga, with every challenge there’s a good amount of avoidance or numbing–but the opportunity to practice yoga exists at every turn, every interaction, every bit of gridlock and difficulty. It is easy to see this in the lives of many of the city’s inhabitants, most of whom don’t know what the inside of a yoga studio looks like. Practice is alive in the struggle. It’s inhabitants must simply do what they can, working to find some stillness in all this whirlpool of energy; Cairo is their yoga.

The search for softness or grace or space or peace in the whirlpool of life is both challenging and sublime. I suppose it’s like this everywhere, though the extreme energies of a place like Cairo accentuates the experience. It is the same experience in a mysore room, where practice is alive and well, gritty and difficult, at the edge of some seemingly insurmountable odds, which we learn to overcome little by little.

Ultimately, the āsana of Cairo is that of everyplace, it is the practice of every man. It is about how we sit, stand, move, interact with our environment, with the people we meet, it’s how we rise up to our challenges and it’s how we live up to our victories.

 

The Practice of Finding Those Wide Open Spaces

 

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About a month ago, I was feeling so cramped up being mostly in the small the suburb of Gokulam in Mysore, India. I felt this incredible restlessness that could only be quieted by riding my scooter out into the fast road out of town, towards the open rice fields and farmland along the Cauvery River. I was nervous at first, unsure of the way, because I rarely ventured out alone. I had gotten complacent and comfortable in my surroundings, little noticing until that moment that I craved for more than yoga practice, houses, wandering livestock and fellow yoga students.

I remember feeling great relief when the landscape opened up. It was a reminder that wide open green space, fresh air and nature was so readily available so long as I was willing to leave my comfort zones.

This is often what I feel in my own practice and body. How the body I sometimes think I have is a little different from the body I actually have. How, at times, I perceive my limitations as permanent state of being.

Our yoga practice helps us find space where we might think there is none. These spaces can be small, or big, or so subtle that they appear to hardly exist in the body. It can be the difference between comfort and dis-ease, lightness or suffering. At times these spaces are in our minds only, and when we respond to challenges better, we create space and this, too, reflects in our body.

In no way is pushing a good thing. Knowing our limitations is also a good thing too, it keeps us safe. Do not push, but rather be willing to explore, to step beyond what is comfortable and easy, because beyond that bit of uncertainty these is so much space.

Catching Wind, Empowering Practice


So many times I have found myself blown in certain directions. Mostly, though not exclusively, with incredible positive outcomes. Even gale force-like winds and maelstroms, which might have moored me into isolation or thrown me into some catastrophic disaster, would eventually abate and I would land wherever with the softness of a feather. I consider myself blessed to have had such good luck to be propelled so. I also know, that in many ways, I called for it, that I invited the elements myself to move me. Time and time again, I’ve taken myself to some peak, opened my arms in surrender, and like wings unfurled, I would get picked up and thus be transported.

I wondered, however, what would it be like if I participated more in this act of flight? The last year in particular has been about recognizing the difference between flowing with things and flying myself.

It’s been an amazing process, coming to a deeper understanding that all this raw energy can be transformed and directed. That I am not prey or play thing to the forces I perceived to be much greater than myself, but, instead, an active player, instigator, herder of energy.

There is so much in this; the world at large is packed with potential energy, raw, unharnessed. In the microcosm of us, we are likewise full of unrealized vitality and force. When we learn to access this, when we learn to use it skillfully, to move it in certain directions, something huge shifts. We are empowered.

This naturally happens when we practice. There’s this wealth of untapped energy in our bones, our connective tissues, our muscles, our breath, our thoughts and hearts. Our practice helps us soften the gross layers, physical and subtle, emotional and mental, that keep us from connecting with our own physical/metaphysical body.

When we practice with consistency over a long period of time, we start tapping into these energies, which then become apparent in the practice itself. We extract energy from the practice and it fuels us. Our bodies become efficient, so does our breath, we develop an economy of thought and effort and before we know it, we are no longer consuming energy but creating it, so ample that it overflows and drips into our lives causing all sorts of creative bounty /mayhem.

This is my tenth year of yoga practice. It’s not a very long time–I continue to feel like a babe in the woods–but it’s not a short time either. Whatever length it is, it is long enough to observe the effects of practice, how it’s changed, how it’s changed me, how my life has changed because of it.

These days in Cairo’s Nūn Center, there are a number of beginners and some students returning to practice after a substantial break. And naturally the struggles that come with starting an ashtanga practice begin to appear: the body gets tired, the mind wavers, the internal debate on whether to go to class starts when the alarm rings in the morning.

I remember my teacher saying that if you never leave your practice, it will never leave you. I still have those days where doing my own practice is like going to battle with myself. What he said, though, it’s true, and it gets me on my mat, it gets me through the first sticky sun salutation, and, eventually, the practice helps me catch wind.

Mysore Classes here at Nūn continue. Sunday to Thursday, 7:30-10am. This week, we are adding Ashtanga Basic classes Monday and Wednesday at 7pm. These classes can be used as an introduction to the morning Mysore program. Drop ins and all levels are welcome! 

Beginning Practice: Planting Seeds, Finding Flowers

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Over the last weekend, I was with friends who had moved into a lovely new apartment, and I got swept into a small project of turning an old wooden table into a bit of homemade art. A compass was purchased, along with a pencil and a selection of paints, the table was portioned into concentric circles, the first seven of which made up the seed, the rest that followed blossomed into what was to be the flower of life–though from my up-close perspective of the table, I couldn’t really see it. I saw the circles, and the folds between circles, I could see patterns, but not the thing itself. Even as I painted, I focused mostly on the surface of each petal that I chose. My vision was narrow, but it needed to be. The few times I tried to look at the entire table, it was disorienting. So, I stuck to the task. I carefully stayed within the lines drawn up in pencil, painting the color evenly in the allotted spaces. It wasn’t until later, when I looked at it from a distance with more of the petals painted that I could see what we were actually working on. I was genuinely surprised and impressed by our efforts. There I was, painting blue petals, spaces between circles, but really we were creating an entire flower.

It’s the beginning of week 2 of teaching in Cairo and at Nūn, here, we have a few beginners, as well as some practitioners who are reviving their practice. These days, I realize, are about painting petals. 

I have asked students to breathe and move with the same sort of methodical brushstrokes, to simply focus and stay within the lines. When they are done, I ask them to do it again, committing it to memory.

Perhaps this is true with our practice in general. When we start learning ashtanga, we have a suspicion that there is a great framework, or perhaps we were told of this alleged intelligent design that connects everything, but we don’t really “know” it, not in a way that we understand it, or can even know what it looks like, not when we’re learning to breathe and not pass out through sun salutations. 

We enter a room and it’s obvious that there’s some sort of pattern that repeats itself, but we don’t really see it as it is, mistaking it too often as its form, asana like acrobatics. It’s probably best that we don’t see the big picture, which is always potentially growing as long as we practice. It’s overwhelming, too much information. Seeing too much, also, we get caught in wanting to look ahead–and then we steal from ourselves the opportunity to participate in the great unfolding. So we learn the practice piece by piece, bit by bit.

This is a great way of learning. Each posture, or even element of a posture, is a digestible module to be learned and digested before moving on to another unit of learning. Still, nothing is ever lost because everything is reviewed and repeated. The body is maintained, the mind is continuously purified. The mind and muscle memory are sharpened together. Before we ourselves know it, we have a pretty full bodied practice. A complex system of breath, attention, movement and postures that all work in harmony with each other. So many seeds grown into a garden.

Whether one is a beginner or a long time practitioner, the planting of seeds, the painting of petals, the growing, the tending of garden never ceases. For me, this is what keeps Ashtanga interesting. I am constantly growing, constantly finding myself surprised to see the ever evolving “big picture.” The practice keeps my focused on the details, invites me into the nitty grittiness of it, gives me work to do in tidy digestible bits that are just the right size for me. It keeps me engaged in that work, just enough, that I don’t get distracted by the usual stuff and, also, don’t get hung up on the big picture itself. 

This is one of the great gifts of this method–also, one of its challenges for practitioners, and, yes, but for teachers too. I am constantly having to check my desire to share, which may be born out of the best of intentions, but may also be feeding off some need to indulge my own ego (that to be a good teacher, I should perform, deliver, yadahyadah…), against the integrity of the practice. 

I may leave my friend to finish painting her table, but I take with me the reminders it has given me in relation to practice: the magic of economy (how less is really more), that seeds grow when properly grounded and showered with patience, attention and love, that everything comes in due time, usually with incredible and surprising results.


Am excited and grateful to be currently sharing at Nūn Center here in Zamalek, Cairo. I will be here for two months, teaching a Sunday-Thursday Mysore, 7:30-10am. For more information: http://www.nuncenter.com. 

Inner Dance in The Shala, Maadi

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Inner Dance is an experience. I always have a hard time explaining this energy work because it wants to be felt more than observed. It wants to be danced with. Sometimes it’s a slow dance, some times it’s a mosh pit. It might not look like any kind of dance at all. It kind of depends on you, where you’re at, what you’re deep internal music/musings might be at that given moment. And though we are in a room together, it’s kind of like dancing with yourself with, the door is closed, the volume is on high, and you feel free and light enough to go for it. To dance like no one is watching.

Thursday, April 21, 6:30pm, I will be offering Inner Dance sessions in The Shala in Maadi. Excited to return to this space, which has hosted so many ID sessions, and, with it, many personal movements. Thursday Inner Dance will be a weekly offering until early June. (Thursday, 28 April, there will be no class for Easter holidays).

The Shala is located at 6, Road 200 (in front of the South African embassy) Maadi. To book: 01223717729 -01222384498.  The session is 120LE.

Cairo, The Romance Continues

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Taken at Cairo’s Gezira Club by the late Zeinab Lamloum, a great photographer, devoted ashtanga student and good friend.

There are some places that simply draw us, that holds a place in our hearts and our imaginations, that stirs in us some deep kind of recollection of what it is to be terribly, beautifully human. Since late 2013, that place for me has been Egypt. So, in this year which I’ve dedicated to living more fully, more authentically, making my fourth teaching trip to Cairo feels like a pretty good idea.

Over the last few years, I realize, I have formed an interesting, and ever changing, relationship with the place and its people. My first trip, I subbed for fellow teacher, Egyptian Iman Elsherbiny when she took her own trip to study with our teacher in Mysore, India. That first experience was like stepping into someone else’s life, living in her apartment, teaching her classes, being taken around by her friends. My second trip, I joined forces with Iman to help her open her new yoga space, The Shala in Maadi, during which we did a few retreats together which solidified our own sisterhood; her friends became our friends. The last time, I was teaching workshops and retreats, mostly on my own, I spent practically every weekend away from Cairo, it was beautiful but discombobulating. I started to make my own connections, but it was snippets of a life in a whirlwind.

In a way, over those trips, Egypt and I were having a romance, intense but fleeting, substantial enough that it has kept me wanting more; so risky at times that I wanted to keep myself at a safe distance. Still, the feeling remains, I know that Egypt and I like each other.

It’s been nearly a year and a half since my last meeting with Egypt and I wonder whether we’ll jive or not, whether we can we still top the magic of the first, second, even the third time?! I’m not going to try to think too much or speculate the possibilities. I can’t speak for Egypt, but I know I’ve changed and I have a feeling that in the backdrop of Cairo I will know how much more different I am from the other times I’ve come to visit. I know I have grown there, and I know there is probably more growing to do together.

I have different intentions than previous trips. Instead of seeking adventure, wanting to teach everywhere and spreading myself too thinly, I am concentrating my energy, hoping for a stable two and a half months of teaching and self-study.

This time, I am making Nūn Center in Zamalek my base for two months, while continuing to offer Inner Dance in The Shala in Maadi, where the healing modality grew a steady following by the end of 2014.

Between April 17 and June 10, I will be teaching a Sunday to Thursday Mysore program between 7:30-10am at Nūn Center (pronounced “noon,” Nūn is the symbol for primordial water in Ancient Egypt), along with supplementary weekend workshop classes on Friday mornings that will include “Introduction to Ashtanga Yoga” and various themed explorations paired with the traditionally counted led class. For more information on the Nūn  Ashtanga and Inner Dance offerings, please check out the website http://nuncenter.com. Email or call for bookings and inquiries we@nuncenter.com/+20 122 398 0898.

I will also be facilitating Inner Dance in The Shala in Maadi on Thursday evenings. For information on the Inner Dance schedule please call 01223717729-01222384498 or check out The Shala Facebook Page.

There will surely be more in store, dates are being floated and ideas are brewing. So, please continue to check in for updates.

I can’t say where this romance will take me, but I suspect it’s where I want to be going, deep into the personal work that fuels my own teaching, my hunger for learning, and my love for living. I’m excited to say: Cairo, I’m coming.

For Weekly Mysore Classes & Friday Workshops
Nūn Center
4 Shafik Mansour, Zamalek, Cairo
we@nuncenter.com/+20 122 398 0898

For Thursday Night Inner Dances
The Shala
6, Road 200 (in front of the South Africa Embassy), Maadi, Cairo
01223717729-01222384498

 

Returning to the Source

It’s been quiet on the blog front here as I delve into my own studies, self reflection and practice here in Mysore, India, the source of Ashtanga yoga. Returning here to be under the quiet gaze of my teacher Sharath Jois, to throw myself into the challenges that the practice here poses for my body, mind and heart, to be just a student is so important. My ability to teach and share will always be fueled by my ability to be a student here., a student everywhere.

I may still post in this blog during the period, but as is custom for me when I am in Mysore, I will be updating my first blog, and chronicling practice at the source in Realizing Mysore — http://realizingmysore.blogspot.in, where it has been a pleasure to share my adventures in Mysore since 2010. One month down, one month to go!

A New Year Begins

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There’s nothing like spending Christmas in the Philippines. I have enjoyed it immensely! It’s incredibly beautiful and festive and heart-warming. There’s a lot of everything: church-going, eating, parties, gift-giving, more eating. Really, merry making in over drive, if there ever was one.

The spirit of giving, taken to its extremes, however, can be tiring, no matter how nourished the heart is from all the loving exchanges between friends and family. Often, daily practice suffers. Late nights, late meals and get togethers keep one from getting a full, deep, regular practice going during this time of year.

I have tried in the past to forego festivities for practice. And have managed to be in India on several occassions, enjoying not being drawn away from the regularity of my sadhana. But something is lost in this, too. When we sacrifice our relationships, for practice, we miss the point in having a balanced human life. Our sadhana has to also extend to the greater field of our lives, there must be space and time to be with our people.

Coming home this year, I have been easier than other years, allowing myself to be pulled away from the steadiness of a regular routine in order to be with family and friends, which is my main purpose of being here.

Now it’s January 1 and Christmas and New Year’s Eve festivities are behind us. And the question that comes up for me is: how do I now replenish myself after this period where so much energy and time has been beautifully directed towards those I love. How do I now, at the start of year, return to the daily act of loving myself, refilling my personal stores so that I may continue to teach and to be loving towards all my relations?

What better way is there to recommit to ourselves than getting on the mat, returning to our sadhana, the space in which we are closest to who we are, where we are most real, where we are most vulnerable, where we are closest to Source, not just the source of ourselves but the source of Everything?

If you’ve been pulled away from practice during this time, don’t stress. It’s ok. Instead, just get back on the mat, return to the breath, remember who you are by giving time, once again, to yourself.

Perhaps this is as steady as life gets, being pulled away from our center, and then, with effort, coming back. Perhaps, for us Householders, this vacillation between the two, the world outside and the world within, is as close as we get to the Middle Path.

If you’re in Manila and you feel like you could use some support getting back into the swing of your personal practice, I’ll be teaching in Surya Fitness and Yoga for one week only, between January 4-9, 6:30-9am. This is the purpose of this teaching period: to help people ground back into practice, which then helps us grow and expand in our lives. It’s not an easy time to get people back on the mat, but I think it’s a crucial time where we can set the positive intention of yoga and bring it to life in practice.

Feel free to join our FB Event Page for more information:
https://www.facebook.com/events/199794560354285/

Homecoming, Teaching in Manila

 

 

In a week I will be teaching here in Manila for the first time since my authorization by my teacher in India. I’m excited to be offering something here at last. To be honest, though, until recently, I was also a little nervous because, after all, coming home has a different weight and texture–in a similar way that returning to the US where I grew up, teaching in San Francisco during this year challenged some old ideas, for example, the little voice that asked deep inside my head: was I good enough to hold a space like Mysore SF, had I been gone too long from America to be able to relate? Since my time of teaching regularly in the Philippines, Manila and Boracay (where I used to live and teach) has become a popular port for visiting teachers, some of whom are senior teachers with a lifetime of experience. It rattles the ego some.

What I’ve learned along the way, however, is it’s not about my years of experience, nor is it about my level of practice, it’s not about the past years of travel and teaching in different countries–though all are fairly substantial factors (says the ego, once again).

The hard truth is it’s not about me at all. Being able to teach, here or anywhere, is about honoring this practice. It’s about having the humility to get out of the way so this intrinsically intelligent system can do what it is designed to do. It’s about supporting the bodies, the wills, the hearts of those who engage in this practice, who also put their trust in it. It’s about breathing, speaking, moving and acting not through my own wants or needs, but through the lineage, through the parampara. 

This connection between us and our teacher is alive and potent. For years, I have been listening to Sharath Jois speak on this topic during conference in India, believing that I understood it. And to a point, I did.

The last year, however, has been a great lesson in surrendering to the lineage: practicing in Mysore, India at the start of the year injured, assisting Sharath (upon his recommendation that it would be strengthen my back), assisting Magnolia Zuniga–one of the strongest female teachers I’ve encountered so far–and learning from her and sharing in a space like Mysore SF, where parampara is practically tangible. I have had to let go of so much to find that I am now, ironically, more myself…

I don’t feel anxious now.  I feel relieved that I don’t need to “perform” or “expect.” The word that comes to mind, instead, is “trust.”

I trust that this practice will do, through me, what it needs to do. I trust that it works, even when it feels awkward. I trust that the more I let go of my ideas of what it is to be an ashtanga teacher, the more I will be able to teach with authenticity and integrity. I trust that the students that need to come and study will come. I trust that it’s going to be a good week of seriously real, full-hearted, and honest practice.

Root, Seed & Grow. If you are in the Philippines, I will be teaching a week of Traditional Ashtanga Yoga between Monday, January 4 and Saturday, January 9, 2016, 6:30-9am. Surya Fitness and Yoga is located on the 4th Floor, Medicard Lifestyle Center Bldg., 51 Paseo de Roxas, Corner, Sen. Gil J. Puyat Ave, Makati. 

Join our Facebook Event Page for more details: https://www.facebook.com/events/199794560354285/ 

The Infinite Room

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Morning breaks through the windows the last Sunday that I have come in to open Mysore SF. There are no students yet. The sun’s glow is diffused by white curtains. The room feels soft, somewhat malleable.

I have gotten to know this space well over the last seven and a half months I have been here. As a teacher, I have observed if from the first moments of the morning, when it is still dark, the heaters have just started to warm the room, it is a little like a womb, and the room feels like a space where the world asleep and the world awake meets.  I see one mat, then two. I see how the room ignites, how the first round of surya namaskara is like a match being struck against the rough edge of a match box. How the students who come in one by one, or two by two, between 5:45 to 6:15 are like kindling to a flame. By 7am, it is warm and toasty. By 7:30, it’s a proper fire, we are cooking in here. Come 8am, the whole room is aglow. By 8:30, the remaining practitioners have the feel of glowing embers.

The room is an oven, sometimes it is a furnace. It is a kitchen and a laboratory. On other days, or for another person, it is something else. It can be an arena for heroes battling their multiple-headed demons. It can be a safe room or a therapist’s office. Other times it is a temple or solitary confinement. It can be a heaven, a purgatory, a hell. It is a stage where countless scenes are played, replayed, and eventually deconstructed.

It is a road, which, at first, might seem like a short road that goes nowhere, but eventually becomes a long journey which seems to have no end–sometimes it goes somewhere while other times it feels like it goes nowhere once again, and that either way is ok because what matters is that you’re walking the road, nothing else.

And then there are days it’s just a sweaty room full of sweaty people and you wonder why you are there at all. And then there are days where it’s still this weird sweaty room but you kind of just love it.

For every person everyday is different.

A Mysore space is not an ordinary room. It is a field of infinite possibilities.

I will miss this particular Mysore room, the room itself, yes, but also the energy of it, the countless stories that unfold here, the stories of courage, raw grit, the personal battles, the moments–some so small, they could go undetected–of incredible vulnerability, those precious breaks where something shifts. Of course, this happens in all Mysore rooms where real practice and teaching is happening. But for me, Mysore SF is where I have been lucky enough to live it these months; to have a home in such a space is a gift. 

Life goes on in this infinite room. For Holiday schedules: http://www.mysoresf.com. As for me, I head to the Philippines soon and will be teaching there January 4-9, 2016 at Surya in Makati, Manila before making my way to India in February.